Kinda as I expected - the further into recovery (with fewer and fewer milestones), the less I'd be blogging. Cause there ain't shit going on!
Yesterday, we went to Petsmart. Today, we went to Target. This was in lieu of going grocery shopping on crutches on Saturday. I asked my husband if he hated me, by suggesting that. I understand his point - he wants me to get used to being up and about because next Tuesday is probably going to suck.
Kinda no matter how you cut it, next Tuesday is going to suck. I have spent the last six weeks (almost!) with my leg UP. 99% of the day, my leg has not been pointed downwards. Come work day, I'll have longer distances to go by myself. Yeesh. At this point, I'm considering putting my lunch in a cooler so that it's next to my desk. When I get tired/worn out/sore, I do tend towards the stupid... and I could just see getting overtired and not wanting to bother a coworker by asking for their help.
Anyway. Que sera, sera.
Petsmart was fun. We visited the cats. The Maine Coon kitty saw my husband and immediately started making happy paws and meowing silently. We also picked up "boa mice" since the cats loved the last one to pieces. And then loved the pieces to pieces. Today, as I sat down to do my morning exercises, I brought over a mouse. Once the growling started over who got the mouse, I went back for the second one. Glad we bought two!
Target tonight - I went around the whole store. I wanted J to get new gloves. We needed household cleaners. I wanted to see the Christmas candy (and I got some. *pets it*), we needed an air filter, more shampoo, and a prescription. My wrists are tired. I'm pretty worn out ... but I survived!
I'm starting to ease in to SOME work things - I'm checking and responding to email now. Tomorrow, I'll probably check with my boss to see if I should change my away message wording to say "checking email, will get back to you in 24 hours." I suspect she won't go for that, as I'm on actual leave and she's been discouraged from letting me do any work from home. (I'm not THAT in love with my job, but I've been gone 6 weeks. I'm bored and don't want to face the paperwork!)
Still feeling fat but working on all things in moderation. I would say that I'm successful with that - one real treat a day and everything else falls into the "need to eat to be healthy" category. I'm also back up to my usual three fruits a day, which takes up stomach space so that I have less of an appetite for treats anyway!
The only other oddball thing on the day was that my surgeon called. No reason in particular. I hadn't been in, in awhile, so he was seeing how I was doing, asking about my pain, my range of motion, and so on. I was pretty pleased by this, since he called me and not as a return call. I guess that's part of why he's my surgeon!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wait, what day is it?
Tomorrow is Friday the 13th. I think I'll stay home and, like my cat, cover my eyes and hide from the world.
Actually, more important, it's November 13th. I had my surgery on *October* 13th. I've managed the one month mark so far! Woot!
I'm trying to decide if I'm gaining weight or losing weight. I thought I was holding steady. Logic tells me that I must be gaining weight because I sit on the sofa all day. This is all right buuuut I've got to be careful. Like I do when I'm healthy, I eat the good for me food first and reconsider if I want the junk food. It's just paying attention to what I eat.
I hate the damned brace. I really need to get a good picture of me in it, so you can see why I hate it.
See, here's the brace itself: Click me!
That's ankle to upper thigh (because I'm so short and I lose all my height in my legs)
I will say that it's not as heavy as it used to be (as I've regained the ability to use my leg) but it's still clunky and awkward. Can't easily roll on to my side at night wearing that, now, can I? It's also amusing to think that I have a (surgically) broken leg and that's all I've got to cope with. (Of course, being surgical, there is a plate and pins in there, holding that sucker, uh, apart)
Other weird things include the MASSIVE numb spot in the area of the bottom of the knee cap, across the front of my leg and down a few inches. Completely without sensation. Except at night when the nerves work on repairing themselves and it feels like a trickle of water down my leg.
The numb spot and my poor right foot have given up the ghost. I have a VERY hard time getting lotion to absorb into the skin on the leg and the poor foot is just going "wtf? You're supposed to use me and you're not NOW WHAT WOMAN". Oh well. I'm trying to just keep massaging the lotion in to my leg.
In the middle of it all, it's very hard to think of WHY I opted to do this. I don't always want to stay positive. I want to indulge in pity parties and feel sorry for myself... but once things are better. Once I'm partial weight bearing. Once I'm full weight bearing no crutches no cane... then I'll be reminded WHY I did this. For now, I need to endure, and that means pity parties (sadly, without good food).
The end goal is this: I want to have the choice to sit on the sofa and watch TV instead of an activity, instead of the sitting on the sofa being my ONLY option. Before surgery, I was (and will be for awhile, post-surgery) very limited. I could walk, some, but preferably with my unloader brace. I could ride a recumbent bike because it is impact-free. I couldn't hike. I certainly couldn't even run across the street, dodging traffic. What kind of life is that, at age 32?
I look forward to the options in the future, to do what I want, be it be active or be lazy. I look forward to not having that choice made for me.
(But right now, this kinda sucks. FYI.)
Actually, more important, it's November 13th. I had my surgery on *October* 13th. I've managed the one month mark so far! Woot!
I'm trying to decide if I'm gaining weight or losing weight. I thought I was holding steady. Logic tells me that I must be gaining weight because I sit on the sofa all day. This is all right buuuut I've got to be careful. Like I do when I'm healthy, I eat the good for me food first and reconsider if I want the junk food. It's just paying attention to what I eat.
I hate the damned brace. I really need to get a good picture of me in it, so you can see why I hate it.
See, here's the brace itself: Click me!
That's ankle to upper thigh (because I'm so short and I lose all my height in my legs)
I will say that it's not as heavy as it used to be (as I've regained the ability to use my leg) but it's still clunky and awkward. Can't easily roll on to my side at night wearing that, now, can I? It's also amusing to think that I have a (surgically) broken leg and that's all I've got to cope with. (Of course, being surgical, there is a plate and pins in there, holding that sucker, uh, apart)
Other weird things include the MASSIVE numb spot in the area of the bottom of the knee cap, across the front of my leg and down a few inches. Completely without sensation. Except at night when the nerves work on repairing themselves and it feels like a trickle of water down my leg.
The numb spot and my poor right foot have given up the ghost. I have a VERY hard time getting lotion to absorb into the skin on the leg and the poor foot is just going "wtf? You're supposed to use me and you're not NOW WHAT WOMAN". Oh well. I'm trying to just keep massaging the lotion in to my leg.
In the middle of it all, it's very hard to think of WHY I opted to do this. I don't always want to stay positive. I want to indulge in pity parties and feel sorry for myself... but once things are better. Once I'm partial weight bearing. Once I'm full weight bearing no crutches no cane... then I'll be reminded WHY I did this. For now, I need to endure, and that means pity parties (sadly, without good food).
The end goal is this: I want to have the choice to sit on the sofa and watch TV instead of an activity, instead of the sitting on the sofa being my ONLY option. Before surgery, I was (and will be for awhile, post-surgery) very limited. I could walk, some, but preferably with my unloader brace. I could ride a recumbent bike because it is impact-free. I couldn't hike. I certainly couldn't even run across the street, dodging traffic. What kind of life is that, at age 32?
I look forward to the options in the future, to do what I want, be it be active or be lazy. I look forward to not having that choice made for me.
(But right now, this kinda sucks. FYI.)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
And I sat on the sofa, and recovered some more
Today's bizarre revelation is that "when my knee aches, it's because I'm wearing pants and I'm not wearing the leg brace." However, leg brace + pants = a-ok. Leg brace + heavy covers = sleep like the dead. WTF is it about the knee brace?
Otherwise, not much.
We went to a hockey game Friday night. It was just my husband and myself in the handicap section. I grabbed another chair and put my leg up on it, because having it pointing down was just so uncomfortable. Unfortunately, Saturday morning, my discomfort came from having been a bit twisted to get my leg on that chair. We went back for Saturday night's game annnnnd the section was nearly full and there was no place to put my leg. We called it a night after the second period.
(For the record, it was worth leaving after the second period, since the good guys totally imploded)
So, guess I'm not just ready for that sort of being in public. Puts a serious kink in trying to see a movie or anything. Too bad; there were a few I wanted to see. I guess I'll do my usual "watch them on DVD" routine. Fie!
My mood is somewhat improved. I've determined that part of the mid-week blahs are more than, you know, mid-week. On Tuesday nights, I go with my husband to his game night (so that I'm not left at home). These go until nearly midnight and then I get up with him at 6:30am. This makes me tired and super-cranky. But I've HAD to get up, because I can't fix myself breakfast. This week, we bought some breakfast snacks, so I intend to sleep in muuuuuuuuuuuch longer tomorrow. It should cut down on the crank factor. I hope. We'll see.
And it's nearly two weeks to Thanksgiving. I'm less than 2 weeks from my post-op appointment. Fingers crossed that things look good and I'm allowed to rejoin the real world. Fingers also crossed that I can put my leg down, soon, too.
Otherwise, not much.
We went to a hockey game Friday night. It was just my husband and myself in the handicap section. I grabbed another chair and put my leg up on it, because having it pointing down was just so uncomfortable. Unfortunately, Saturday morning, my discomfort came from having been a bit twisted to get my leg on that chair. We went back for Saturday night's game annnnnd the section was nearly full and there was no place to put my leg. We called it a night after the second period.
(For the record, it was worth leaving after the second period, since the good guys totally imploded)
So, guess I'm not just ready for that sort of being in public. Puts a serious kink in trying to see a movie or anything. Too bad; there were a few I wanted to see. I guess I'll do my usual "watch them on DVD" routine. Fie!
My mood is somewhat improved. I've determined that part of the mid-week blahs are more than, you know, mid-week. On Tuesday nights, I go with my husband to his game night (so that I'm not left at home). These go until nearly midnight and then I get up with him at 6:30am. This makes me tired and super-cranky. But I've HAD to get up, because I can't fix myself breakfast. This week, we bought some breakfast snacks, so I intend to sleep in muuuuuuuuuuuch longer tomorrow. It should cut down on the crank factor. I hope. We'll see.
And it's nearly two weeks to Thanksgiving. I'm less than 2 weeks from my post-op appointment. Fingers crossed that things look good and I'm allowed to rejoin the real world. Fingers also crossed that I can put my leg down, soon, too.
Monday, November 2, 2009
A halfway point
In terms of halfway points, it doesn't mean a lot. Today is day #21 since my surgery (with 10/13 being day #1 and day of surgery). In three weeks, I'll be seeing my surgeon. At that point, I *should* be allowed to: start partial weight bearing and return to work. I can't see why I wouldn't, but never say never. I think that the real approval will be less my surgeon and more what the x-ray looks like (make sure there's healing there, etc).
It's hard to believe that it's been three weeks. In many respects, it feels like forever. And, knowing that it's only halfway, I can't believe I have another forever yet to go.
Today, I finally peeled off the remaining surgical tape off the incision. The lower part has lost any scabbing but the other part still has about an inch of dried blood on it. It's going to leave QUITE a mark on my leg. I knew it would, but the reality is always something else.
I'm still getting stronger, of course. I can now do leg lifts without assistance and without needing to take a break between each one. My eventual goal is 3 sets of 15. I'm at 3 sets of 10 and it's a real struggle to do those 10. But that's okay! I'm working on it.
I think I'll know I'm doing much better when existing within the confines of the cursed brace are easier (you do a leg lift with that on). Also, being able to do a leg lift sitting up, rather than on my elbows (which is how I'm supposed to be doing them for now).
Also, sleeping is much easier now, compared to before. I think it's the fact that my leg is slightly bent when I sleep. Before, when it was locked and extended, the weight of the covers pulled on my leg and oh god it hurt. No more pain, thankfully, just in time for winter to roll in and now I can cozy up under the covers at night. (Sleeping will be easier when I can roll over, even on my side... but you try doing that with that brace on)
That said, I struggle a LOT with my decision to do this. Yes, I know, life pre-surgery wasn't fun. I mean, I was SO limited by the time I decided to do this. I couldn't walk without pain, or without limping. I could generally ride my recumbent exercise bike... but a real bike? My knee couldn't handle that. Strength training was SO painful, but I pushed through, in order to recover better. Wearing the unloader brace caused chafing and burns. It wasn't much of a life.
But right now? It ain't much of a life, either (and yeah, I knew about it on an intelluctual level, prior to surgery). I cannot do ANYTHING for myself, it seems. I can get myself SOME foods, if I can stuff it in my crutch bag, but my balance stinks and I can't do anything that might require more effort. Yes, I can get into the tub, shower, dry, and dress myself... but I'm flat-out not allowed to do it, if my husband isn't home. I'm reliant on him to take care of ALL the house keeping, ALL the cooking, the laundry, and all care of the cats. It's frustrating to have to let things go and let him do it, as he sees fit. I can't drive anywhere and even if I could, getting around any store would be so difficult. I'm stuck at home. I don't have a lot of very local friends and those I have seem to have vanished. My less local local friends are still there, one of whom comes to visit as often as she can.
But I'm lonely. I'm pretty miserable, even if I'm not in pain. I can't do anything and there's no one to spend time with. And I have three more weeks of this hell? Going back to work seems so amazing, because I know I'm missed there, even as staff to my faculty and students.
In six months time, life should be better than it was in September, with regards to my knee. Do you know how far away that seems right now? And I can't even plan any trips, because I don't really know what I will be able to do at any point in time.
Blah. :(
It's hard to believe that it's been three weeks. In many respects, it feels like forever. And, knowing that it's only halfway, I can't believe I have another forever yet to go.
Today, I finally peeled off the remaining surgical tape off the incision. The lower part has lost any scabbing but the other part still has about an inch of dried blood on it. It's going to leave QUITE a mark on my leg. I knew it would, but the reality is always something else.
I'm still getting stronger, of course. I can now do leg lifts without assistance and without needing to take a break between each one. My eventual goal is 3 sets of 15. I'm at 3 sets of 10 and it's a real struggle to do those 10. But that's okay! I'm working on it.
I think I'll know I'm doing much better when existing within the confines of the cursed brace are easier (you do a leg lift with that on). Also, being able to do a leg lift sitting up, rather than on my elbows (which is how I'm supposed to be doing them for now).
Also, sleeping is much easier now, compared to before. I think it's the fact that my leg is slightly bent when I sleep. Before, when it was locked and extended, the weight of the covers pulled on my leg and oh god it hurt. No more pain, thankfully, just in time for winter to roll in and now I can cozy up under the covers at night. (Sleeping will be easier when I can roll over, even on my side... but you try doing that with that brace on)
That said, I struggle a LOT with my decision to do this. Yes, I know, life pre-surgery wasn't fun. I mean, I was SO limited by the time I decided to do this. I couldn't walk without pain, or without limping. I could generally ride my recumbent exercise bike... but a real bike? My knee couldn't handle that. Strength training was SO painful, but I pushed through, in order to recover better. Wearing the unloader brace caused chafing and burns. It wasn't much of a life.
But right now? It ain't much of a life, either (and yeah, I knew about it on an intelluctual level, prior to surgery). I cannot do ANYTHING for myself, it seems. I can get myself SOME foods, if I can stuff it in my crutch bag, but my balance stinks and I can't do anything that might require more effort. Yes, I can get into the tub, shower, dry, and dress myself... but I'm flat-out not allowed to do it, if my husband isn't home. I'm reliant on him to take care of ALL the house keeping, ALL the cooking, the laundry, and all care of the cats. It's frustrating to have to let things go and let him do it, as he sees fit. I can't drive anywhere and even if I could, getting around any store would be so difficult. I'm stuck at home. I don't have a lot of very local friends and those I have seem to have vanished. My less local local friends are still there, one of whom comes to visit as often as she can.
But I'm lonely. I'm pretty miserable, even if I'm not in pain. I can't do anything and there's no one to spend time with. And I have three more weeks of this hell? Going back to work seems so amazing, because I know I'm missed there, even as staff to my faculty and students.
In six months time, life should be better than it was in September, with regards to my knee. Do you know how far away that seems right now? And I can't even plan any trips, because I don't really know what I will be able to do at any point in time.
Blah. :(
Friday, October 30, 2009
Delays, delays
How have I not posted since Monday?
Let's see, I got through Tuesday okay, and then Wednesday and Thursday ended up in a fairly miserable funk. I've never spent more than two weeks recovering and, apparently, I hate it. For all I was looking forward to peace and quiet... I'm ready to get moving again. Blargh.
On the upside, I didn't shirk my home physical therapy exercises, so I've been making excellent progress on that.
When my brace was unlocked on Monday, it was at 30 degrees. It's now set to 110, which is a tad difficult, but I can reach 100 pretty easily.
When the athletic trainer showed us how to do leg lifts, DH had to do most of the lifting. By yesterday, that was improving (he needed to jump start my leg) and, by today, I'm able to do them on my own. What a change. Yesterday, the sets of 5 with his help were hard. Today, the sets of 10 without his help... weren't. On the downside, getting past the first couple is P-A-I-N-F-U-L. But I persevere.
On the downside, I'm already tired of sandwiches. Husband needs, pretty much, to make lunch and pack a cooler for me, before he leaves, since I'm entirely incapable of doing anything on my own. I think next week, hopefully I can branch out into salads, tuna fish, cheese and crackers and I'm sure I'll think of something. I'm considering asking him to pick up a Thermos so that I can have soup. It's certainly almost soup weather.
And the whole loneliness thing is such a double-edged sword. I'm sad because I'm home alone and I don't want to do anything (and I have plenty to do). But because I'm sad and frustrated, I don't really want to talk to anyone. It feeds on itself. It's not so great.
Oh, and my appointment with my surgeon is at the six week mark. So I'm here, at home, through November 23rd. But, again, on the upside, it looks as though my poor husband will be taking a vacation day a week to stay home with me, both to help out and for some desperately-needed company. I guess that's the thing with being married - built in company and I don't have to try to break through that wall and reach out and say "yes, do, I want visitors." I'm working on that. I do have a weekend day already "planned" for my dear local friends. :D (And by planned I mean "the date has been picked but we haven't decided anything else, not that it matters because, really, where am i going to go?!")
Annnnd that's been my week. Let me tell you, though, it sure is nice to be able to sleep with my leg somewhat bent. So much easier.
Let's see, I got through Tuesday okay, and then Wednesday and Thursday ended up in a fairly miserable funk. I've never spent more than two weeks recovering and, apparently, I hate it. For all I was looking forward to peace and quiet... I'm ready to get moving again. Blargh.
On the upside, I didn't shirk my home physical therapy exercises, so I've been making excellent progress on that.
When my brace was unlocked on Monday, it was at 30 degrees. It's now set to 110, which is a tad difficult, but I can reach 100 pretty easily.
When the athletic trainer showed us how to do leg lifts, DH had to do most of the lifting. By yesterday, that was improving (he needed to jump start my leg) and, by today, I'm able to do them on my own. What a change. Yesterday, the sets of 5 with his help were hard. Today, the sets of 10 without his help... weren't. On the downside, getting past the first couple is P-A-I-N-F-U-L. But I persevere.
On the downside, I'm already tired of sandwiches. Husband needs, pretty much, to make lunch and pack a cooler for me, before he leaves, since I'm entirely incapable of doing anything on my own. I think next week, hopefully I can branch out into salads, tuna fish, cheese and crackers and I'm sure I'll think of something. I'm considering asking him to pick up a Thermos so that I can have soup. It's certainly almost soup weather.
And the whole loneliness thing is such a double-edged sword. I'm sad because I'm home alone and I don't want to do anything (and I have plenty to do). But because I'm sad and frustrated, I don't really want to talk to anyone. It feeds on itself. It's not so great.
Oh, and my appointment with my surgeon is at the six week mark. So I'm here, at home, through November 23rd. But, again, on the upside, it looks as though my poor husband will be taking a vacation day a week to stay home with me, both to help out and for some desperately-needed company. I guess that's the thing with being married - built in company and I don't have to try to break through that wall and reach out and say "yes, do, I want visitors." I'm working on that. I do have a weekend day already "planned" for my dear local friends. :D (And by planned I mean "the date has been picked but we haven't decided anything else, not that it matters because, really, where am i going to go?!")
Annnnd that's been my week. Let me tell you, though, it sure is nice to be able to sleep with my leg somewhat bent. So much easier.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Wahoo!
And today, the staples came out!!
I had a dream recently (did I mention it?) that when I went in for the appointment, they just helped me out with the stim machine but never even looked at my leg. Waking up, I immediately realized how goofy a nightmare that was.
Especially since, first thing, my leg was unwrapped and the staples were yanked. Har.
Anyway, the athletic trainer asked how I was doing... and I said I wasn't in as much pain as I'd expected; that my surgeon had said the first month sucked for everyone. He said, with all the other people he'd seen (and he hoped I wasn't offended by referring to it as a sort of common surgery), it was the third month that was the worst, when people want to be walking again but are still on crutches.
That was kind of a shocker to both DH and myself. I was wondering if I'd be off crutches closer to 8 weeks, but apparently not! DH had 6 weeks as the critical time in his head. I guess it's nothing but a reality check.
So I was unwrapped and another woman came over with the staple remover cut. I asked to not watch, so they let my lie down, and DH went to get water (since last time I was woozy). The athletic trainer and the woman doing the work laughed at us... but then admitted I did good, in terms of not freaking out at having them pulled. It STUNG. And occasionally, made me twitch, but it was for a good cause.
The incision immediately flattened out, much to my excitement, and as the woman was applying the steri-strips to it, the young cute PA (YCPA) came over and started my appointment with me. Nothing much, really. No comments on the little bump at the end of the incision, so it mustn't have been of concern. She made sure I had no calf pain, said I was allowed to unlock my brace, told me I could do a bit more (but that I should lock the brace when I'm going anywhere), and said that I should come back in 3-4 weeks to see the surgeon.
The athletic trainer gave us some new exercises (and I do mean us - I can't do leg lifts, which is kind of pathetic, so DH has to actually lift my leg until I can... but I'm already getting a little better), helped clear up how to use the evil stim machine, and then sent us on our way.
Of course, as I was crutching out, my phone rang. I sighed and said "everyone's just going to have to listen to it," to which a different athletic trainer said "Your own personal exit music." Bwhahaha.
We were unable to make an appointment, on the spot, for the surgeon (as he is booked until January), so we're waiting for a callback. That, however, is when I will be released for work. The boss was hoping for 4 weeks - looks like at least 5. Well, oh well.
Otherwise, the day went fine. I am only able to get my leg up to 70 degrees (it was at 0, so I guess that's SOMETHING), but not entirely comfortably. So I left the brace looked at 70, so that it has no reason to stop before it should. 120 degrees is apparently full range of motion, so I have a ways to go. Tomorrow, I want to master 70 and maybe unlock it to 80. We shall see.
And from here, I get to focus a lot of my time and effort on my PT. It's good for me, dammit, and why I am off work! To recover, dammit!!
I had a dream recently (did I mention it?) that when I went in for the appointment, they just helped me out with the stim machine but never even looked at my leg. Waking up, I immediately realized how goofy a nightmare that was.
Especially since, first thing, my leg was unwrapped and the staples were yanked. Har.
Anyway, the athletic trainer asked how I was doing... and I said I wasn't in as much pain as I'd expected; that my surgeon had said the first month sucked for everyone. He said, with all the other people he'd seen (and he hoped I wasn't offended by referring to it as a sort of common surgery), it was the third month that was the worst, when people want to be walking again but are still on crutches.
That was kind of a shocker to both DH and myself. I was wondering if I'd be off crutches closer to 8 weeks, but apparently not! DH had 6 weeks as the critical time in his head. I guess it's nothing but a reality check.
So I was unwrapped and another woman came over with the staple remover cut. I asked to not watch, so they let my lie down, and DH went to get water (since last time I was woozy). The athletic trainer and the woman doing the work laughed at us... but then admitted I did good, in terms of not freaking out at having them pulled. It STUNG. And occasionally, made me twitch, but it was for a good cause.
The incision immediately flattened out, much to my excitement, and as the woman was applying the steri-strips to it, the young cute PA (YCPA) came over and started my appointment with me. Nothing much, really. No comments on the little bump at the end of the incision, so it mustn't have been of concern. She made sure I had no calf pain, said I was allowed to unlock my brace, told me I could do a bit more (but that I should lock the brace when I'm going anywhere), and said that I should come back in 3-4 weeks to see the surgeon.
The athletic trainer gave us some new exercises (and I do mean us - I can't do leg lifts, which is kind of pathetic, so DH has to actually lift my leg until I can... but I'm already getting a little better), helped clear up how to use the evil stim machine, and then sent us on our way.
Of course, as I was crutching out, my phone rang. I sighed and said "everyone's just going to have to listen to it," to which a different athletic trainer said "Your own personal exit music." Bwhahaha.
We were unable to make an appointment, on the spot, for the surgeon (as he is booked until January), so we're waiting for a callback. That, however, is when I will be released for work. The boss was hoping for 4 weeks - looks like at least 5. Well, oh well.
Otherwise, the day went fine. I am only able to get my leg up to 70 degrees (it was at 0, so I guess that's SOMETHING), but not entirely comfortably. So I left the brace looked at 70, so that it has no reason to stop before it should. 120 degrees is apparently full range of motion, so I have a ways to go. Tomorrow, I want to master 70 and maybe unlock it to 80. We shall see.
And from here, I get to focus a lot of my time and effort on my PT. It's good for me, dammit, and why I am off work! To recover, dammit!!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Another day, another... well, whatever
Let's see... since Tuesday, I have lain around the house!
Actually, that's not true. Sofa or bed, really, for lying around the house. One day this week, I made a trip from the bathroom through the kitchen back to the sofa... just to say I had.
Then, on Thursday, when our internet fell down, I went from the bedroom to the study, sat, stood, and then went back to the sofa where I fell down. It is DAMNED hard to stand on 3 legs - two crutches, one human leg. Plus it's very uncomfortable to keep a position where my right leg/foot doesn't touch down.
It was that incident where I decided not to go to the annual FiberFest here in Ann Arbor. It's hard and tiring to get around. Yes, I'd be in a wheelchair, but the booths are small so I'd have to get out. In a wheelchair, my leg would be fully extended in front of me, which is also tricky. Plus the Washtenaw County Fairgrounds, while indoors, is not precisely a level surface.
My dad also arrived Thursday night. On Friday, he made a trip to Lowe's and picked up a hand-held shower head. He found an area that was specific to disabled needs and so it's a pretty nice shower head. For a shower head. It's got a long hose and an on/off switch on the head itself (this allows me to put it down, without it spraying all over).
It was nice to sit in the shower (although my leg was in a wacky position and I don't think there's jack I can do about that) and clean myself... entirely on my own. Of course, I needed J's help to get in and out, but then he walked out and closed the door behind him. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, when I'll spend some time being girly in the shower (fancy shampoos and conditioners and the like!).
My parents left this morning. My mom really made life much easier for both of us. It was the little things like allowing J (or, occasionally, she) to go shopping/get food/supplies, and I had someone home with me. For awhile, this was super-important. She also did the big things like cook dinner nightly and stock our freezer with dinner.
The staples come out - I hope I hope I hope - on Monday. The skin is starting to pull on them, which is kind of uncomfortable. It looks like it's pretty well healed, too. There's a soft lump at the end of the incision, but it's not painful, discolored, or hotter than the rest of the leg.
The pain generally isn't too bad. Most of it has to do with the brace itself - the second strap crosses right over the bottom side of the incision and the rubbing - no matter how many layers between my leg and the brace - is painful. (But then my sense of hot/cold and touch is really screwy near the incision and that's not a surprise)
My knee cap IS more visible, as well. The fact that it's moved is a little bizarre, but I'm getting used to it. Also, with the reducition of swelling, I can tell that my leg is in a different direction that before.
And there you have it!
Actually, that's not true. Sofa or bed, really, for lying around the house. One day this week, I made a trip from the bathroom through the kitchen back to the sofa... just to say I had.
Then, on Thursday, when our internet fell down, I went from the bedroom to the study, sat, stood, and then went back to the sofa where I fell down. It is DAMNED hard to stand on 3 legs - two crutches, one human leg. Plus it's very uncomfortable to keep a position where my right leg/foot doesn't touch down.
It was that incident where I decided not to go to the annual FiberFest here in Ann Arbor. It's hard and tiring to get around. Yes, I'd be in a wheelchair, but the booths are small so I'd have to get out. In a wheelchair, my leg would be fully extended in front of me, which is also tricky. Plus the Washtenaw County Fairgrounds, while indoors, is not precisely a level surface.
My dad also arrived Thursday night. On Friday, he made a trip to Lowe's and picked up a hand-held shower head. He found an area that was specific to disabled needs and so it's a pretty nice shower head. For a shower head. It's got a long hose and an on/off switch on the head itself (this allows me to put it down, without it spraying all over).
It was nice to sit in the shower (although my leg was in a wacky position and I don't think there's jack I can do about that) and clean myself... entirely on my own. Of course, I needed J's help to get in and out, but then he walked out and closed the door behind him. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, when I'll spend some time being girly in the shower (fancy shampoos and conditioners and the like!).
My parents left this morning. My mom really made life much easier for both of us. It was the little things like allowing J (or, occasionally, she) to go shopping/get food/supplies, and I had someone home with me. For awhile, this was super-important. She also did the big things like cook dinner nightly and stock our freezer with dinner.
The staples come out - I hope I hope I hope - on Monday. The skin is starting to pull on them, which is kind of uncomfortable. It looks like it's pretty well healed, too. There's a soft lump at the end of the incision, but it's not painful, discolored, or hotter than the rest of the leg.
The pain generally isn't too bad. Most of it has to do with the brace itself - the second strap crosses right over the bottom side of the incision and the rubbing - no matter how many layers between my leg and the brace - is painful. (But then my sense of hot/cold and touch is really screwy near the incision and that's not a surprise)
My knee cap IS more visible, as well. The fact that it's moved is a little bizarre, but I'm getting used to it. Also, with the reducition of swelling, I can tell that my leg is in a different direction that before.
And there you have it!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Another two days on the sofa
Sunday was, you know. Stuff. I laid around, finished a cross-stitch, and didn't do much. I ate. I slept all the way until 7 and then was comfortable enough to laze in bed for another hour. I took a shower, which was another adventure. I can't wait until it's no longer an adventure to do so.
Yesterday was more stuff. The day started out really uncomfortably. I woke up uncomfortable. I couldn't GET comfortable (hip? leg? knee?). For whatever reason, after I got up, used the bathroom, and came back... I was a lot more comfortable. Good better best. The other oddity on the day was that some of the swelling has drained to one side of my ankle. Not the whole ankle. Not the foot. Not my toes. Just the inside of my right ankle. It's still a bit swollen, but earlier it was even greenish like the fading portion of the bruises. (There's a lot that's not fading)
Otherwise, uneventful.
However, rumors are that there's been a (right) kneecap exciting. Ooh. Aah. It's weird, because the kneecap WAS moved during surgery (since the bone was, it only makes sense)... because you know where your kneecap is, right? Well, it's not QUITE there.
Today was fairly uninteresting, except that I've been granted/allowed myself more freedom. And by "freedom", I mean "go to the bathroom without an escort." Man, it's an exciting life.
But it's a good healthy recovery, I suppose. I did try to cut my pain pills in half, last night, at bedtime. I was uncomfortable and it took me awhile to fall asleep, so I don't think that I was quite ready for that. Oh well; it's not like I'm so busy during the day that I just don't get to nap!
Big day tomorrow, as a friend is coming over for the afternoon. Woo.
Yesterday was more stuff. The day started out really uncomfortably. I woke up uncomfortable. I couldn't GET comfortable (hip? leg? knee?). For whatever reason, after I got up, used the bathroom, and came back... I was a lot more comfortable. Good better best. The other oddity on the day was that some of the swelling has drained to one side of my ankle. Not the whole ankle. Not the foot. Not my toes. Just the inside of my right ankle. It's still a bit swollen, but earlier it was even greenish like the fading portion of the bruises. (There's a lot that's not fading)
Otherwise, uneventful.
However, rumors are that there's been a (right) kneecap exciting. Ooh. Aah. It's weird, because the kneecap WAS moved during surgery (since the bone was, it only makes sense)... because you know where your kneecap is, right? Well, it's not QUITE there.
Today was fairly uninteresting, except that I've been granted/allowed myself more freedom. And by "freedom", I mean "go to the bathroom without an escort." Man, it's an exciting life.
But it's a good healthy recovery, I suppose. I did try to cut my pain pills in half, last night, at bedtime. I was uncomfortable and it took me awhile to fall asleep, so I don't think that I was quite ready for that. Oh well; it's not like I'm so busy during the day that I just don't get to nap!
Big day tomorrow, as a friend is coming over for the afternoon. Woo.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Post-op days 2 & 3: Two steps forward and one step back
I didn't sleep super well, during my first night home. I woke up about 4hr15m after my last dose of medicine and OH GOD the pain. It takes about half an hour for the meds to kick in, so that seems like an eternity overnight. My Polar Pack, a god-send, is incredibly noisy so that kept waking me up. We banned the cats from the bedroom, so they were scratching at the door. I was cold, then really cold, then so cold I was shaking which upset the knee and the pain.
My poor husband - I kept waking him up to help me out (as he wanted!) but it was so long a night. I was never so happy as when he decided when we could get up.
At 7:45 Thursday morning, MedSport called. Um, they said, we know you had surgery on Tuesday and you have your post-op today at 8:45, but at 9am, we're having a fire drill. We were thinking that you might like to come in later, so that you don't have to evacuate during the drill? Yes, yes I would.
Then, again, when it was time to go, my crankypants came out. I didn't want to take any more narcotics. They do make me a tad unsteady, but they're great at dealing with the pain... and I wanted to be a bit more coherent for the post-op. Well, I conceded and took 1 (out of 3) pill and away we went. I didn't want long, they helped me on to my blue bed, I said hello to my last physical therapist, and then... they unwound the wrappings, gauze and cotton.
I swear to god, I nearly lost it then and there. I don't know why. I'm not generally squeamish, but I think it was a combination of the drugs and seeing the wound that I nearly blacked out. There aren't stitches in my leg, there are staples. Twenty one staples, to be precise.
Click for picture.
We think that the circle (or semi-circle in the picture) is probably where my knee cap is. Isn't the bruising, below the staples, impressive? it even wowed the MedSport staff!
After I was unwrapped, I was escorted (very slowly) to the x-ray area. We had to stop at one point in time, while the black crawled in around the edges of my vision. Once I was better, but still breathing heavily, I made it the rest of the way. To no one's surprise, the x-ray doesn't look much different than two days ago.
Next, another PT gave me an electrical stim machine that was MISERY. I mean, she didn't believe me how terrible it was until I threatened to throw up on her. It has two pads that lay on my leg, turn on the machine, and it starts sending electrical currents through it to make my quad muscles jump. And shot the pain straight down to my incision area. Add this to the fact that I was slightly off balance, stomach was upset, and I actually cried out loud. She stood and smiled.
Look, I understand - I need to do these things to get better, but when I tell you that now isn't the time, telling me I only have 16+ minutes left isn't going to make it better. If she'd looked at my records, she'd know that I'm a go-getter and a real get it done type of person. But I was so sick after the whole narcotic/incision thing...
...in fact, I got home, and I still wasn't sure I wasn't going to throw up. i took one of the anti-nausea pills that I had a prescription for and... slept for the next six hours, more or less. I woke up and got up in time for dinner.
And that's the first full day at home. The only other thing worth noting is that the physician's assistant gave me one instruction (beyond the two "exercises" I was given) and that was to "do nothing and come back in two weeks." Roger that, good buddy!
My poor husband - I kept waking him up to help me out (as he wanted!) but it was so long a night. I was never so happy as when he decided when we could get up.
At 7:45 Thursday morning, MedSport called. Um, they said, we know you had surgery on Tuesday and you have your post-op today at 8:45, but at 9am, we're having a fire drill. We were thinking that you might like to come in later, so that you don't have to evacuate during the drill? Yes, yes I would.
Then, again, when it was time to go, my crankypants came out. I didn't want to take any more narcotics. They do make me a tad unsteady, but they're great at dealing with the pain... and I wanted to be a bit more coherent for the post-op. Well, I conceded and took 1 (out of 3) pill and away we went. I didn't want long, they helped me on to my blue bed, I said hello to my last physical therapist, and then... they unwound the wrappings, gauze and cotton.
I swear to god, I nearly lost it then and there. I don't know why. I'm not generally squeamish, but I think it was a combination of the drugs and seeing the wound that I nearly blacked out. There aren't stitches in my leg, there are staples. Twenty one staples, to be precise.
Click for picture.
We think that the circle (or semi-circle in the picture) is probably where my knee cap is. Isn't the bruising, below the staples, impressive? it even wowed the MedSport staff!
After I was unwrapped, I was escorted (very slowly) to the x-ray area. We had to stop at one point in time, while the black crawled in around the edges of my vision. Once I was better, but still breathing heavily, I made it the rest of the way. To no one's surprise, the x-ray doesn't look much different than two days ago.
Next, another PT gave me an electrical stim machine that was MISERY. I mean, she didn't believe me how terrible it was until I threatened to throw up on her. It has two pads that lay on my leg, turn on the machine, and it starts sending electrical currents through it to make my quad muscles jump. And shot the pain straight down to my incision area. Add this to the fact that I was slightly off balance, stomach was upset, and I actually cried out loud. She stood and smiled.
Look, I understand - I need to do these things to get better, but when I tell you that now isn't the time, telling me I only have 16+ minutes left isn't going to make it better. If she'd looked at my records, she'd know that I'm a go-getter and a real get it done type of person. But I was so sick after the whole narcotic/incision thing...
...in fact, I got home, and I still wasn't sure I wasn't going to throw up. i took one of the anti-nausea pills that I had a prescription for and... slept for the next six hours, more or less. I woke up and got up in time for dinner.
And that's the first full day at home. The only other thing worth noting is that the physician's assistant gave me one instruction (beyond the two "exercises" I was given) and that was to "do nothing and come back in two weeks." Roger that, good buddy!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Post-op day #1: Wednesday, October 14th
The day started at 6am, when the resident for my roommate's surgery came to check on her. Sure, we were separated by only a curtain but she did have the window side. I had the hallway/door side. When he was done poking and proding her, he left... and left the door open. I was unable to shout loud enough to get anyone's attention to close the damned door so that I could snooze.
But, at 7, breakfast turned up and it was a WARM cranberry bran muffin, which tasted fabulous. I wouldn't think of cranberry and bran as fabulous but did I mention warm? I scarfed the thing as fast as I could... and then realized that maybe I should have gone about it a little bit slower, since I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours. I gave it a few minutes. Five, maybe more. Nothing, no sign of an upset stomach... so I drank the OJ that came with. Then I ate the cornflakes. Then I drank my tea. And I started to feel human again.
Unfortunately, the Good Overnight Nurse's shift ended at 7:30 and Dippy Nurse was her replacement. Her and her aide also abandoned me on the commode, even stopping to chat with my roommate while I was HANGING on the damned commode. I nearly cried it was so uncomfortable.
Also unfortunately, when Dippy Nurse came on, I said that I was in pain and needed more pain medication. The physical therapist, who came in at 8, heard my tale of woe, because it was 7:35 when I'd asked for the meds and I still didn't have any. Nor did I have any water. I think helped me out a little faster than she would otherwise. She let me go, so long as I promised her I'd have someone by my side when on crutches and AT LEAST someone on the downhill side for stairs until I'm off narcotics.
The roommate - man, she was a peach. She was obviously in pain but she was also mostly set up for whining and not fixing. She didn't like her IV and it had slipped out a bit, so she complained about that. She complained that her pain medication made her feel nauseated. But because she refused an IV, she couldn't get the anti-nausea medications. She then lied, a bit, about how she was treated, when pain meds were offered to her... and it was interesting the three different stories that I heard about getting her cleaned up. She claims she was never offered, someone else said she refused, and a third said that the towels were left for her but completely untouched.
The physical therapist came through and ran me through a series of easy tests (using crutches) and more difficult ones (going up and down stairs, non-weight bearing) and then gave me her all clear to go home. It probably took another couple of hours before all the hurdles were cleared and I was able to be discharged.
Of course, my crankypants appeared in time for being released. Probably funnier in hindsight. They wanted me to put shoes on and I saw a need for no such thing (I was in a wheelchair, right?). They wanted me to put my coat on, but, again... especially as I was going to be wheeled through the hospital. Seemed way to hot for me. They wanted me to wait at the main entrance and I wanted to be taken to the car in the parking structure.
In the end, I was wheeled out with no shoes, no coat, and I had to wait out front. I did put a shoe on my left foot while I waited for Jeremy but I didn't put on a coat.
It was great to be home. it was nice to be able to use an actual bathroom and a flushing toilet. It was nice to not be left, hanging, on a commode. We set it up so that they could prop a footstool under my right foot and then walk out of the bathroom, so I had some privacy.
The rest of the day passed fairly uneventfully, which is as it should be. I think we did wait a bit too long for bedtime, which left all of us cranky. I ended up throwing Jeremy out of the bathroom and made him send my mom in, instead, so that I could get taken care of for sleepytime.
But, at 7, breakfast turned up and it was a WARM cranberry bran muffin, which tasted fabulous. I wouldn't think of cranberry and bran as fabulous but did I mention warm? I scarfed the thing as fast as I could... and then realized that maybe I should have gone about it a little bit slower, since I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours. I gave it a few minutes. Five, maybe more. Nothing, no sign of an upset stomach... so I drank the OJ that came with. Then I ate the cornflakes. Then I drank my tea. And I started to feel human again.
Unfortunately, the Good Overnight Nurse's shift ended at 7:30 and Dippy Nurse was her replacement. Her and her aide also abandoned me on the commode, even stopping to chat with my roommate while I was HANGING on the damned commode. I nearly cried it was so uncomfortable.
Also unfortunately, when Dippy Nurse came on, I said that I was in pain and needed more pain medication. The physical therapist, who came in at 8, heard my tale of woe, because it was 7:35 when I'd asked for the meds and I still didn't have any. Nor did I have any water. I think helped me out a little faster than she would otherwise. She let me go, so long as I promised her I'd have someone by my side when on crutches and AT LEAST someone on the downhill side for stairs until I'm off narcotics.
The roommate - man, she was a peach. She was obviously in pain but she was also mostly set up for whining and not fixing. She didn't like her IV and it had slipped out a bit, so she complained about that. She complained that her pain medication made her feel nauseated. But because she refused an IV, she couldn't get the anti-nausea medications. She then lied, a bit, about how she was treated, when pain meds were offered to her... and it was interesting the three different stories that I heard about getting her cleaned up. She claims she was never offered, someone else said she refused, and a third said that the towels were left for her but completely untouched.
The physical therapist came through and ran me through a series of easy tests (using crutches) and more difficult ones (going up and down stairs, non-weight bearing) and then gave me her all clear to go home. It probably took another couple of hours before all the hurdles were cleared and I was able to be discharged.
Of course, my crankypants appeared in time for being released. Probably funnier in hindsight. They wanted me to put shoes on and I saw a need for no such thing (I was in a wheelchair, right?). They wanted me to put my coat on, but, again... especially as I was going to be wheeled through the hospital. Seemed way to hot for me. They wanted me to wait at the main entrance and I wanted to be taken to the car in the parking structure.
In the end, I was wheeled out with no shoes, no coat, and I had to wait out front. I did put a shoe on my left foot while I waited for Jeremy but I didn't put on a coat.
It was great to be home. it was nice to be able to use an actual bathroom and a flushing toilet. It was nice to not be left, hanging, on a commode. We set it up so that they could prop a footstool under my right foot and then walk out of the bathroom, so I had some privacy.
The rest of the day passed fairly uneventfully, which is as it should be. I think we did wait a bit too long for bedtime, which left all of us cranky. I ended up throwing Jeremy out of the bathroom and made him send my mom in, instead, so that I could get taken care of for sleepytime.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Surgery day: October 13, 2009
Tuesday morning, before leaving the house, I attached my clip-on Minnie Mouse ears. This was totally worth it, really. Sure, I bet a few people thought I was crazy but it certainly relaxed things. Check-in for surgery was painless and we didn't wait long before we were brought back to the pre-op area. From there, I was ignored for an extended period of time (waiting, I think, for Dr. Miller to turn up). Once he showed, things started moving very quickly.
Unfortunately, I once again got an anesthesiologist who thought he knew me better than I did and partially ignored what the last one did, for my last knee surgery. I don't remember a lot, except talking about marathons with one of 'em, and then waking up in post-op. Must have been some VERY good drugs.
Because the person in "my" bed hadn't been discharged yet, I ended up spending a lot of time in the post-op care room level 1. It was fine, more or less, as I was pretty much allowed to sleep. Because of the nausea, which had already started, I wasn't allowed to drink anything, though my nurse did occasionally run a soaked swab around the inside of my mouth. And because of the area I was in, visitors weren't generally allowed. However, she was nice enough that she would let Jeremy in for about 10 minutes of every hour. Now, I mostly slept through this time, but he was there as long as he was allowed.
I was in a decent amount of pain, so I was given frequent morphine, via IV, and Zofran, for the nausea.
Eventually, I was moved to another holding area, where I was allowed to sit up and then given some water (which made me feel REALLY REALLY terrible). At this point, Dr. Miller stopped by. He started out with "Well, Sarah, as you're aware, you're not the tallest person in the world..." so it turns out he had to jury-rig the plate that is in my leg a bit, because it was too long. He told Jeremy, at another time, that the opening wedge he had to make was a bit bigger than he'd hoped for - it is 12mm at the widest spot.
Finally, my bed opened up and I was sent along my merry way (and from here on, I get grumpy and probably overshare) Jeremy went to the car, to get my crutches, and met me at the room. Because I didn't have them, I wasn't allowed up and hadn't been allowed to use the bathroom. I think it was around 3ish? When I finally got to the room and I'd gone in to pre-op at 6am. But because of the meds and the surgery, I wasn't allowed to go far. And I was in a semi-private room (wtf does that even mean? how does a curtain make things semi-private?). So, the nurse and her aide set me up with a bed pan...
...and I just couldn't. Couldn't. Sure, there's no dignity to be had post op. And yes, moving me from my surgery bed into a hospital room bed was PAINFUL... but. No. So, with some complaining, the nurse and her aide set me up on a commode, which was JUST as embarrassing, but I HAD TO GO. And they walked off. I was left, honestly, hanging. Because of the pain meds, I am (still not) allowed to go anywhere by myself. They take my crutches to insure this. But my brace IS basically hip to ankle. The commode had handles on either side, which meant I didn't actually fit with the brace. My recently operated leg was left hanging there... until the aide could be bothered to come back and help me back in to bed.
I dozed, a bit, but started developing a killer headache. Still having nausea issues and I couldn't really hold down water. I eventually asked the nurse (known not so affectionately as "the bitchy one" from her overheard comments about me not using a bed pan) for Tylenol. I got water. I threw up the water. The bitchy one went home. The overnight one came on duty... and, at this point? Not a headache. A migraine. And because I'd been barfing, my roommate had turned her TV on. And her husband was there. They had on every light on their side of the room. Then she took a cell phone call on speaker phone. Oh, and I got a dinner plate... with nothing but REAL food on it. Nothing there that I should have been eating - no broth, no juice, no clear liquids. Wtf?
So I was a bit short with the woman as I begged for the Tylenol I'd requested over an hour ago. I got it, it stayed down. However, the pain pills she gave me were immediately thrown back up and this nice nurse... finally... actually helped me. She got a hold of the resident on duty, to see about better/more effective anti-nausea medications. The Zofran was written for a specific time interval and that was all I had. She got him to give it to me as often as needed and then got two other kinds of anti-nausea meds out of him.
Finally - FINALLY! - I was on my way. Of course, my leg had cramped up, but that was not unexpected, so she ended up giving me Valium, OxyConton, and an anti-nausea med. I was out like a light and stayed that way for most of the night.
But unlike the bitchy one, if I had to go to the bathroom, she would sit and wait for me. She used her leg as a footstool for me, and I was no longer left danging. Before she left, she explained to me what I needed to do to be let out. Simple stuff: eat and keep down food. Pass the physical therapy test. Have the resident sign the orders.
And that was day #1.
Unfortunately, I once again got an anesthesiologist who thought he knew me better than I did and partially ignored what the last one did, for my last knee surgery. I don't remember a lot, except talking about marathons with one of 'em, and then waking up in post-op. Must have been some VERY good drugs.
Because the person in "my" bed hadn't been discharged yet, I ended up spending a lot of time in the post-op care room level 1. It was fine, more or less, as I was pretty much allowed to sleep. Because of the nausea, which had already started, I wasn't allowed to drink anything, though my nurse did occasionally run a soaked swab around the inside of my mouth. And because of the area I was in, visitors weren't generally allowed. However, she was nice enough that she would let Jeremy in for about 10 minutes of every hour. Now, I mostly slept through this time, but he was there as long as he was allowed.
I was in a decent amount of pain, so I was given frequent morphine, via IV, and Zofran, for the nausea.
Eventually, I was moved to another holding area, where I was allowed to sit up and then given some water (which made me feel REALLY REALLY terrible). At this point, Dr. Miller stopped by. He started out with "Well, Sarah, as you're aware, you're not the tallest person in the world..." so it turns out he had to jury-rig the plate that is in my leg a bit, because it was too long. He told Jeremy, at another time, that the opening wedge he had to make was a bit bigger than he'd hoped for - it is 12mm at the widest spot.
Finally, my bed opened up and I was sent along my merry way (and from here on, I get grumpy and probably overshare) Jeremy went to the car, to get my crutches, and met me at the room. Because I didn't have them, I wasn't allowed up and hadn't been allowed to use the bathroom. I think it was around 3ish? When I finally got to the room and I'd gone in to pre-op at 6am. But because of the meds and the surgery, I wasn't allowed to go far. And I was in a semi-private room (wtf does that even mean? how does a curtain make things semi-private?). So, the nurse and her aide set me up with a bed pan...
...and I just couldn't. Couldn't. Sure, there's no dignity to be had post op. And yes, moving me from my surgery bed into a hospital room bed was PAINFUL... but. No. So, with some complaining, the nurse and her aide set me up on a commode, which was JUST as embarrassing, but I HAD TO GO. And they walked off. I was left, honestly, hanging. Because of the pain meds, I am (still not) allowed to go anywhere by myself. They take my crutches to insure this. But my brace IS basically hip to ankle. The commode had handles on either side, which meant I didn't actually fit with the brace. My recently operated leg was left hanging there... until the aide could be bothered to come back and help me back in to bed.
I dozed, a bit, but started developing a killer headache. Still having nausea issues and I couldn't really hold down water. I eventually asked the nurse (known not so affectionately as "the bitchy one" from her overheard comments about me not using a bed pan) for Tylenol. I got water. I threw up the water. The bitchy one went home. The overnight one came on duty... and, at this point? Not a headache. A migraine. And because I'd been barfing, my roommate had turned her TV on. And her husband was there. They had on every light on their side of the room. Then she took a cell phone call on speaker phone. Oh, and I got a dinner plate... with nothing but REAL food on it. Nothing there that I should have been eating - no broth, no juice, no clear liquids. Wtf?
So I was a bit short with the woman as I begged for the Tylenol I'd requested over an hour ago. I got it, it stayed down. However, the pain pills she gave me were immediately thrown back up and this nice nurse... finally... actually helped me. She got a hold of the resident on duty, to see about better/more effective anti-nausea medications. The Zofran was written for a specific time interval and that was all I had. She got him to give it to me as often as needed and then got two other kinds of anti-nausea meds out of him.
Finally - FINALLY! - I was on my way. Of course, my leg had cramped up, but that was not unexpected, so she ended up giving me Valium, OxyConton, and an anti-nausea med. I was out like a light and stayed that way for most of the night.
But unlike the bitchy one, if I had to go to the bathroom, she would sit and wait for me. She used her leg as a footstool for me, and I was no longer left danging. Before she left, she explained to me what I needed to do to be let out. Simple stuff: eat and keep down food. Pass the physical therapy test. Have the resident sign the orders.
And that was day #1.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Hmm
Debating the merits of making this my post-op blog, for the long run. Would I then double all the posts back to LiveJournal?
Probably. Not that bad an idea, I suppose, since this would allow the real world to see what's going on and I'd keep LJ for me.
Hmm.
Probably. Not that bad an idea, I suppose, since this would allow the real world to see what's going on and I'd keep LJ for me.
Hmm.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Tides by Tarot, on Crows Fly Black
Oh, I see your face as if in a dream.
Eyes where the shadows drown.
Frozen in a frown.
And I feel like paper burning free.
The wind is shattering me.
I'm the sky, I'm the sea.
Walk for now.
Endless days alive somehow.
Staring, dreaming, cold rain, skin steaming.
Just some fog in my eyes.
Tides in my blood follow the pale moon
drawing my soul to the skies.
Standing here, where a dream once had a home.
Emptiness now calls,
where hope crumbled with the walls.
And I feel like dust, lighter than air.
Winged by the smallest prayer.
Destination anywhere.
Walk for now.
Endless days alive somehow.
Keeping pace.
Staring, dreaming, cold rain, skin steaming.
Just some fog in my eyes.
Tides in my blood follow the pale moon
drawing my soul to the skies.
Stars, they're skywide, forever burn.
Scars, you carve deep, but never learn.
I just love this song. It's a slow, draggy song, and generally isn't typical of their music. I was so surprised to see it on their live album.
I was very disappointed to discover that they will not be performing at ProgPower next year. I'm saying that X will be my last but I'll break that if Glenn ever gets them to perform. Of course, the lead singer is also the bassist/male lead in Nightwish, and they're currently on tour and will be for who knows how long.
Nonetheless, it's bedtime. Early morning tomorrow, for DH's half-marathon. I totally regret committing to going, but that's only because it's going to be a cold fall morning! ;)
Eyes where the shadows drown.
Frozen in a frown.
And I feel like paper burning free.
The wind is shattering me.
I'm the sky, I'm the sea.
Walk for now.
Endless days alive somehow.
Staring, dreaming, cold rain, skin steaming.
Just some fog in my eyes.
Tides in my blood follow the pale moon
drawing my soul to the skies.
Standing here, where a dream once had a home.
Emptiness now calls,
where hope crumbled with the walls.
And I feel like dust, lighter than air.
Winged by the smallest prayer.
Destination anywhere.
Walk for now.
Endless days alive somehow.
Keeping pace.
Staring, dreaming, cold rain, skin steaming.
Just some fog in my eyes.
Tides in my blood follow the pale moon
drawing my soul to the skies.
Stars, they're skywide, forever burn.
Scars, you carve deep, but never learn.
I just love this song. It's a slow, draggy song, and generally isn't typical of their music. I was so surprised to see it on their live album.
I was very disappointed to discover that they will not be performing at ProgPower next year. I'm saying that X will be my last but I'll break that if Glenn ever gets them to perform. Of course, the lead singer is also the bassist/male lead in Nightwish, and they're currently on tour and will be for who knows how long.
Nonetheless, it's bedtime. Early morning tomorrow, for DH's half-marathon. I totally regret committing to going, but that's only because it's going to be a cold fall morning! ;)
Thursday, October 2, 2008
I hate it when my cryptic posts (see April 1) are so cryptic that even I no longer know what they mean. Yeah. Way to go, self.
It's been a long week. Every day I wake up, I wonder if it's Friday yet. When I realize it's not, I then try to figure out what day it is. I guess it could be worse. I at least know who I am and what's going on. Those mornings are generally worse.
I got back from Atlanta Sunday night. I'm starting a slow pressure to get my coworker to consider going, however. ;) I probably shouldn't, since it rarely works out. One year, when the DH went to his brother's wedding, I took an old coworker/friend with me and we didn't really speak for a few weeks after. BUT!! We hadn't spoken for a few weeks before and now we went nearly 10 months without speaking... so maybe it wasn't the trip? It's intense. The days are long, the sleeping is short, and the music is L-O-U-D. It's a lot to ask a person to commit to, really... especially someone who doesn't always dig the music. Like former coworker.
The weather was entirely outstanding. Warm, but not hot. Low humidity most days. Made for some great just hanging out weather. It's unfortunately, though, that my health tripped me up a bit, and I spent much of the trip feeling pretty lethargic. Thursday night was the worst. I wanted to just go to bed and stay... but one of my favorite bands (I have a lot), Helloween, was playing and I. Was. Not. Going. To. Miss. Them. At all for anything ever.
But Helloween's lead singer, Andi Deris, and Circle II Circle's singer, Zak Stevens? Terrible on stage banter. Like, I was able to recite everything they said with them. They were still good. It was just really really funny.
Then there was Bill, guitarist for CIIC. Oh yes. Bill. Can't wait to see him again next year. It'll be amusing and worth the price of admission alone.
World of Coca-Cola was like a very strange drug trip.
Looking at the Westin Peachtree, with boarded over windows from the tornado was interesting and amusing. It's a hotel that's ALL windows. They're apparently hard to come by so it's taking awhile to replace. We all stopped to stare and so did everyone else. Even the natives. This is a power I must harness.
At the airport, on the way back, I was "lucky" enough to have an old En Vougue song running through my head, with the lyrics Back to life, back to reality, which is always what the end of ProgPower signifies. Alas.
Then the trip ended on a sour note with smelly butt ladies. The less recorded about that, the better.
It's been a long week. Every day I wake up, I wonder if it's Friday yet. When I realize it's not, I then try to figure out what day it is. I guess it could be worse. I at least know who I am and what's going on. Those mornings are generally worse.
I got back from Atlanta Sunday night. I'm starting a slow pressure to get my coworker to consider going, however. ;) I probably shouldn't, since it rarely works out. One year, when the DH went to his brother's wedding, I took an old coworker/friend with me and we didn't really speak for a few weeks after. BUT!! We hadn't spoken for a few weeks before and now we went nearly 10 months without speaking... so maybe it wasn't the trip? It's intense. The days are long, the sleeping is short, and the music is L-O-U-D. It's a lot to ask a person to commit to, really... especially someone who doesn't always dig the music. Like former coworker.
The weather was entirely outstanding. Warm, but not hot. Low humidity most days. Made for some great just hanging out weather. It's unfortunately, though, that my health tripped me up a bit, and I spent much of the trip feeling pretty lethargic. Thursday night was the worst. I wanted to just go to bed and stay... but one of my favorite bands (I have a lot), Helloween, was playing and I. Was. Not. Going. To. Miss. Them. At all for anything ever.
But Helloween's lead singer, Andi Deris, and Circle II Circle's singer, Zak Stevens? Terrible on stage banter. Like, I was able to recite everything they said with them. They were still good. It was just really really funny.
Then there was Bill, guitarist for CIIC. Oh yes. Bill. Can't wait to see him again next year. It'll be amusing and worth the price of admission alone.
World of Coca-Cola was like a very strange drug trip.
Looking at the Westin Peachtree, with boarded over windows from the tornado was interesting and amusing. It's a hotel that's ALL windows. They're apparently hard to come by so it's taking awhile to replace. We all stopped to stare and so did everyone else. Even the natives. This is a power I must harness.
At the airport, on the way back, I was "lucky" enough to have an old En Vougue song running through my head, with the lyrics Back to life, back to reality, which is always what the end of ProgPower signifies. Alas.
Then the trip ended on a sour note with smelly butt ladies. The less recorded about that, the better.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
My bucket list
A work in progress and in no particular order, I present:
Things I Want to Do and Places I Want to Go
Visit NYC
Re-visit the Olympic Peninsula
Visit Portland, OR
Spend a week on the Pacific Northwest Coast
Visit Napa Valley
Visit Yosemite
...the Grand Canyon
Colorado Rockies
Hoover Dam
Spend a week in the Sleeping Bears Dune area
Smokey Mountains
Stay somewhere that actually has a shaped tub (like the cheesy Adirondacks)
Acadia National Park
Hawaii, preferably via cruise ship as I'm lazy
Get a pedicure (hey, they're not all impossible!)
Laser treatment for the hair on my left leg
Try contacts
Plant a lilac bush and hydrangeas
Buy a Dyson
Get an occasional house cleaning service
Learn intarsia
Knit an actual article of clothing
Take a long weekend trip with my mom
Fly first class
Stay in a top notch resort, be it Disney World or another destination
Things I Want to Do and Places I Want to Go
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Cats.
My cat got jealous of all the pictures I was taking of my knitting projects. She demanded in on the action.
Soon I will download the photos of her, on the couch, watching football with Jeremy. Hee!!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Whoop!
Hey Margaret -
You accepted my invite. Now, let's post and be witty and stuff, yes?
Yes?
No.
FINE. BE THAT WAY.
You accepted my invite. Now, let's post and be witty and stuff, yes?
Yes?
No.
FINE. BE THAT WAY.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Test
This is a test. This is only a test. If this was a real post, there would be content.
Maybe.
As I have many blogs - too many - this may not see much use. I thought it would be fun to have a blog attached to my username that I'll reply to my brother's posts with.
Maybe.
As I have many blogs - too many - this may not see much use. I thought it would be fun to have a blog attached to my username that I'll reply to my brother's posts with.
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